Ladies and Gentlemen, looks like not everyone get depressed. Looks like not everyone will understand what it is like to be depressed. Ahh! Now I see why the conversation I had with my friend about anxiety and depression felt like different species shouting at each other in their own language.
I have always felt like life was pointless and there is no meaning to enduring all the suffering in the name of living. I have always been a Nihilist. No Gods, godmen or anything for that matter helped me change that view of mine. I have had my good vibrant days but those days look like eons ago and rare recently. The joy of living has drained from me. I have been assuming that all adults are naturally downers like me. To my surprise, I found out its not the case. Looks like most of the people are enjoying their lives. Of course, a little ups and downs here and there but overall they are driven by goals, ambitions, love and family. Even during hardships, these people are doing better than what I do on my best day. :P
Oh, I envy these people. How nice it would be just to be joyful without any efforts? How fun it would be just to be positive and driven all the time? I want to meet one such happy soul and want to bask in their joy and happiness just to get a hang of it. To be honest, I have met such people and have only been judgmental of them. They appeared fake or superficial to me without any depth. May be I should be more open, welcoming and stop smirking at them so much ;).
So I am trying my best, checking out everyone on the self help list of "how to be happy and joyful in 30 days". Meditation? Walking? Nature? Travel? You name it, I have done it. Definitely seeing some change. But the effort I have to put unlike these naturals, make me kind of "what the". But, but, but, we cant give up on ourselves, can we? I hope I will reach that place someday. See you all naturals soon.
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